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Sunday, December 3rd, 2006
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I still remember when people called me charlie...
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Thursday, September 21st, 2006
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i'm in another one of those moods...
the kind of moods that i thought required coriciden cough and cold to be in.
i thought about the days of cafe paradiso and nik mabry and giving up meat for lent, and brandon and i deciding to become each others support system for being vegetarians, and babysitting at first baptist, and being elected sophomore class president...then fast forwarding to the drugs days of angel vicki layne danny and greg, and all the trouble we got into...then moving into the paper tiger summer, which was it's own thing...then moving on to the philly days, and now being here.
each stage i feel like i was a different person, and i look back almost from an omnicent point of view, i feel like that was me during any of those times. i still don't feel like it's me here in college now.
i think i'm crazy, and one day this city really is going to drive me out of my mind. between the crowded subway and the literally running into people on the streets, and the being broke, and the trying to afford school, and the not being the best anymore, and the work, and the realization that i'm just a boy in a big city, and the voices that don't stop even after i leave the streets...i'm going insane.
this isn't what i want.
things change.
first loves get engaged...
best friends become old friends who catch up online...
memories become stories that become nothing...
people move on...
because life moves on...
everything is so jumbled and i just want it to untangle.
i look at pictures of sara estes and realize why every guy/girl/entity i've ever know has at some point been completely in love with her. and i want to be that type.
i want everyone to love me,
i want to be loveable.
i want to be loved.
i want to be everything to everyone.
and if not...i want to sleep, and not wake up this time.
what would you do? reassure, it's neccessary at this point.
...................
but it's okay, because i'm sure come the morning i'll be fine.
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livejournal.com/users/GetupGetupGO
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Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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I don't know what I'm doing.
I've never been this scared.
This is the end of this journal.
One...Two...Three...
Disapear
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Countdown: 10 hours and 32 minutes.
I had to say goodbyes today.
It was hard as fuck.
I don't like goodbyes.
So if I didn't answer your call or call you or anything, I'm sorry, I just can't really deal with it.
I didn't get to say bye to a lot of people who were important to me, which is terrible, I don't know on who's part, but it's terrible.
Here's to a new life, and to being a grown up, and to everything in the future.
Dear God,
I can't do this alone. Please let me see your footsteps walking beside me.
Love,
Your Son, Danny.
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Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
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Today's my last day.
I probably can't really hang out with anyone either. Too much to do.
Call though.
As of 5:50 pm tomorrow I will be in New Jersey.
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So...I move in 4 days.
Haley and Patrick definitely just sat up here with me at the deli for the past 5 hours just hanging out and doing nothing, even though a lot of times i was doing deliveries. That's why I love those kids. I move in 4 days.
Rebecca is the only girl who has ever put up with my bullshit of not calling for like a week and still wanting to be together. She just showed up at the Deli tonight to hang out probably because she thought I wouldn't answer the phone, which actually I would have. That's why I love that kid. I move in 4 days.
Bucci and Jake stopped by my house this afternoon to drop off my cell phone charger and just sat around with me until I said I was too tired and they didn't hold it against me or think I was trying to ditch them or anything, they just understood. They've also been trying to hang out hardcore the past two weeks. I move in 4 days.
Jeff was in town and I missed him because I didn't have a phone, but when I finally checked my messages today he had left a few. He always tries to hang out with me but I always have something going on. He doesn't hold it against me, we're still best friends. That's why I love that kid. I move in 4 days.
Eula made me a going away present and we went to the movies the other night. She tried to give me a car pretty much. She's always there for me no matter what's going on. That's why I love that girl. I move in 4 days.
Larn has been trying to hang out a lot too, and we went and saw Ice Age 2 together. And I went to the skatepark last night solely because she said she was going. She can make me feel at my best or worst. She called me today to tell me to have a safe trip to Clarksville and to be safe and that she loved me. And that's why I love my Larn. I move in 4 days.
Even Caleb called me today to ask me if I wanted to go hang out. I was at work, but the fact that he probably just got his phone turned back on and he called me instantly meant a lot to me. That's why I love that boy. I move in 4 days.
Rachel drove all the way down from Clarksville today just to drive me back to Clarksville tomorrow so I can say goodbye to my brother and Nan. Seeing her made my heart drop and I got completely overwhelmed. God damn I've missed my other half. Really, I don't think anyone else can conceive it. She drove all the way here and is driving back tomorrow and then driving back again on Tuesday to drop me back off here. And that's one of the thousand reasons I'm in love with that girl and always will be. I move in 4 days.
I miss Angel.
I move in 4 days ps.
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If you want something to go away and you just ignore it long enough, will it?
In other news...I went through pictures today and became all nostalgic. I leave on Thursday and it all feels so sureal.
Play time is over kids, it's time to hit the real world.
The past few nights I've been completely obliterated. It's like the week after I graduated kind of bad. Where there's not a sober night. Which I think is because of this moving thing...
So poor me another one.
And it'll make my jokes that much funnier.
Chug a beer.
It'll make my speach that much more entertaining.
Give me a shot er two.
Then everyone loves being around me
Watch me get drunk.
We're all better friends that way.
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Saturday, April 15th, 2006
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"I think I'll go embarass myself by getting drunk and falling down in the streets..."
Or passing out at the Complex, running around like a dumbass, losing my cell phone and hat (I never like hats and I liked that one!)
I should never smoke out and drink at the same time, it results in bad things happening. Like me feeling like shit. I can finish a handle of vodka alone and be fine, but mix in some marijuanna and I just want the room to stop spinning.
God damn it. I'm embarassed. Sorry to anyone I may have made an ass out of myself in front of last night.
PS - I just did lighting for Young Ave. Thank you Germantown High Fine Arts Department.
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Brandon told me he got to talk to Adam last night.
My first reaction was jealousy, why should he haven't gotten to talk to him and not me? Then I realized, music means a lot to me, but no more than it does to probably most of the people reading this. It would be like if I got to talk to Johnny Depp or Matthew Lillard.
I hope everyone gets to talk to someone who inspires them. I'm sure it does a lot.
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Moving = biggest thing in my life right now. So I will update you all.
This is my last week. I move in 6 days.
Today is Friday - Hellogoodbye and my little Angel.
Saturday - I work until 6 then drive to Murphreesboro to visit Jackson and go to a party there
Sunday - Easter, I work until 1 am.
Monday - I drive to Clarksville to visit Rachel, my big brother, Nan, Charlsie, etc.
Tuesday - I will be leaving Clarksville to come back.
Wednesday - my last night in town.
Thursday - I get on that plane to New Jersey at 12:40 in the afternoon.
Friday - I start all over.
xoxo
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So Daniel Fucking Gomez definitely saw Taking Back Sunday for the first time last night.
Bad fucking ass.
I can't stop using that word as an adjective.
Me, my bottle of SoCo, and my closest friends all together in one building listening to a band that brought us all together. It was fucking incredible. The only people missing were Rachel, Angel, Bucci, and Jake...but I still enjoyed it.
TBS memories:
Brandon - burning me the cd for the first time summer of my freshman year
Patrick - driving me from Barnes and Noble to the mall in Clarksville listening to Ghost Man on Third
Nan - Taking turns singing Cute without the E
There's more but right now I'm hungover and at work.
Great night last night, OH and I also tackled Caleb and have the biggest bruise and scrape in the world on my kneee, and I embarassed myself at I Hop, and I made friends with the ghetto people in the booth behind us, and Caleb got a free bag of weed from them, and I saw Danielle Bunker...god damn all I can say...and I also saw some Germantown girls.
I think that's the end.
xoxo
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Thursday, April 13th, 2006
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I shouldn't be sad right now.
I need to visit Dr. Bob...he has the only medicine that makes my eyes stay dry.
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Wednesday, April 12th, 2006
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I just took a delivery to Christian Brothers University.
It reminded me a bit of high school. It was some girls dorm room, and outside in I guess the courtyard, there were a bunch of college kids dressed in their abercrombie probably drinking and just hanging out. I felt really awkward, like I was in middle school around high schoolers, and I tried to walk cooler so no one would make fun of me...not that I thought people would make fun of me, I don't know what it was or why I felt so shitty. And then all of a sudden, bam, I felt below everyone down there.
If you had talked to me my freshman year and asked me "what do you want to do when you graduate?" It wouldn't be this.
I could be one of those kids standing around the courtyard with a beer in hand and my abercrombie shirt on. And I could be happy like that, I'm sure I could. But I chose a different road, and I don't know why. A lot of times I think that I'd be happier being the cool kid at a private college. Maybe I would be. I don't know.
It was like seeing a completely different world from mine. I guess I just assume everyone does the same things as me because all of my friends do. We're all the kids from Rent minus the aids...and I'm hanging a hard time deciding what would be better.
Bucci and I talked about this last night, the alter egos. How we could go one way or the other, be the artsy kid blah blah, or the rich executive.
All I know is I feel like the biggest loser in the world right now, and I want to not.
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I've been ignoring everyone's phone calls lately.
If I'm not hanging out with everyone I'm sorry.
Been slightly anti social and there's only a handful of people I'm talking to.
I feel bad but really I can't handle talking on the phone for hours at a time or even minutes. I don't check my messages.
I want to be in a bubble and not have anyone touch me or look at me.
Last night I got drunk by myself for the first time in a long time. Actually no, I wasn't by myself, Jake and Bucci were over and I drank a whole bottle of red wine, by myself, they weren't drinking.
What does that say about me?
PS - weird, how is jake only a little more than a year older than my little sister?
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Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
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I forgot what not having anything to do was like.
Today was my day off and I didn't go out of town or have any big plans.
Sooo after being drunk and leaving chris's last night I came home, showered up, dressed in a von dutch hat and abercrombie shirt and went to midtown for what I don't know. All I did was picked up Patrick drove him to lightyears and dropped him off at his apartment. OH and I visited the Philly House...actually, I can't even call it the Philly House anymore. It looks completely different, as if memories of me or rachel are trying to be pushed out. I never thought the liquor bottles looked that trashy. I thought it was neat, each bottle was a memory was how I looked at it. I don't care of course, I don't live there, I never really did. I'm just writing.
I spent 70 dollars on clothes at lightyears...I kind of think there clothes are over priced. I mean 18 dollars for a vintagee nike shirt. Seriously, not so much worth it. I did however get a badass 28 dollars belt. WOO Woo!
Been hanging out with Jake lately, and Bucci. It's been awesome. It's weird, it's like in high school I wanted to be in the cool group, and when I was, it was fun and all yeah, but then when I wasn't invited to things I would get upset, or blah blah. Like I was afraid that everytime I didn't hang out I would lose that many more points with the cool group. Then I'd hang out with my friends, my real friends, and realize that it didn't matter. There were no points. I wasn't constantly tryign to be impressive.
I don't think that made sense.
All I'm saying is it's fun to hang out and just be retarded and be included in conversations, not that I wasn't before, but I just am more so now.
This is complicated, and everyone's going to think I'm being an asshole or saying something that I'm not.
I love you all.
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Well I have been happy the past couple days
Just thinking of the women who’ve taken your place
And every night I think I certaintly won't ever sleep sober or alone
And then suddenly it occurs to me
I've slept alone before you
And so I pour myself the stiffest drink my stomach can stand
And convince myself to lay back down again
I’m gonna lay back down, I’m gonna lay back down again
The drunk kids, the catholics
They're all about the same
They’re waiting for something
Hoping to be saved
They crawl from the oceans
To paint in the caves
But I’m working all weekend
I need to get paid...
Does anyone really want to be saved?
Because I think we all need it.
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Sooo I was watching Waiting at work today.
And one of the cooks thought the guy who plays Dean was me. Which was neat to think that someone thought I was in a movie...the point? I like Dean's character. I relate to it a lot. I want to play Dean in waiting. Not to mention I work in the food industry and a lot of times I wonder what the hell I'm doing in this in between stage...hmm...
I shouldn't have computer access I update this too much during this time.
Is it bad that I haven't even noticed that I moved out of the house and it really hasn't phased me? I think I can live anywhere and be fine, which is why I'm not worried about moving. I mean I am, but not really.
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Flight Itinerary!
Thu, Apr 20: US AIRWAYS, US 5016
Operated by MESA DBA AMERICA WEST EXPRESS
From: MEMPHIS, TN (MEM) map Departs: 12:39pm
Gate: Check for latest information
To: CHARLOTTE, NC (CLT) map Arrives: 3:20pm
Class: Economy Seat: 19A
Status: Confirmed Confirmation: FQXWVS
Meal: Smoking: No
Aircraft: CANADAIR REGIONAL JET Mileage: 512
Flight Time: 1 hours and 41 minutes
Verify flight times prior to departure
Thu, Apr 20: US AIRWAYS, US 0182
From: CHARLOTTE, NC (CLT) map Departs: 4:00pm
Gate: Check for latest information
To: NEWARK, NJ (EWR) map Arrives: 5:50pm
Arrival Terminal: TERMINAL A
Class: Economy Seat: Check-In Required
Status: Confirmed Confirmation: FQXWVS
Meal: Smoking: No
Aircraft: BOEING 737-300 JET Mileage: 538
Flight Time: 1 hours and 50 minutes
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Saturday, April 8th, 2006
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Haley says:
www.googlism.com
search for your name
and so I did and these were the results:
Googlism for: daniel gomez
daniel gomez is the icho regional training coordinator
daniel gomez is the contact person within design and construction for these services
daniel gomez is a fifth
daniel gomez is now presently residing in the united states of america and only returns for vacation once in a while as a 'balikbayan'
daniel gomez is my favorite member of oasis
daniel gomez is probably the least likely person ever to challenge police authority
daniel gomez is an example of the victimization our community endures
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